the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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