Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you inspire me to be a worse person
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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