I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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