im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
