I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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