I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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