We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
