She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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