i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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