Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize