This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
