She is in my trunk
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
