I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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