I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
