Buhtt sex?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
