I need help removing her.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
