if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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