If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
