you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
