Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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