Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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