Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I understand Curling. That high.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Less talking, more tequila
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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