It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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