I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
