I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
