Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
