Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
