you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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