clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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