Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
