Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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