so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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