I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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