I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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