so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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