And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
