How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize