I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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