There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
