your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
People in love make me want to vomit
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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