Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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