youre lurking in front of me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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