You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
