I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
