I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
