sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
