he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
