Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
