So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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