yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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