kristin has been a bad kristin
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
