She is in my trunk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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