just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
