porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
