They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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