It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
