we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
