I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
