He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
