my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
