who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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