i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize