i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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