marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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